“If What You Say Is True…”

So I will…. 🙂

But, as it was more than likely true, it defeats the issue…

And to think, that my life consists of sitting infront of a duel boot computer… I need to get out more…

Humbling.

Win XP Pro Service Pack 2 being installed on a 200Gig partition… Will report back later !

Fingers crossed!

S’pose I’d better watch… Don’t wanna get into trouble…. With myself that is… Cause I should watch it really, and NOT type this crap…

But… No one will, will they?

Even though theres fuck all I can do with it… It still looks nice!

NOT Being pervy! (Honest…) Just testing the mac…

Once you go Mac, you never go back???

Hmmmm Day 1… We shall see!

Guess they did though!

1st since Aug 3rd, 2006… Thats nearly 4 years!

Kurt Cobain? Eat your heart out LOL

Mehhh……

Gotta get a full on big bastard fuck off one, for full satisfaction…

But BB Starts its on-line reg tonight… Note to self: – MUST GET FLAT CABLE

I just wanna kill myself.

I Dont. But I still have it slip out each day…

But… If I was… Would it matter? Would it be anyone’s business other than my own?

No.

So… Your point is?

Never to late to learn…

Bet it will still be shit though… Anyway. Fuck It… Time to order Friday CHINKY BASTARD !

I won a pass worth $450
I gave the pass to charity
I have mame equipment en-route, and I’m looking at flat cabling my connections (NO MORE WI-FI)

Shopping on the 14th with the personal trainer. LIFE IS GOOD!

No piccy this time… Perhaps later !

I am getting pissed off with cuntface. I am about to say sod it, and play my hand. Hang onto it, cut him out. He wont want or expect that…

ION… I have a joystick on its way ! MAME4LIFE!

But I’m not though…

Dont the bankers get enough money and enough time off allready? WANKERS! LOL… Why would I give a fuck? Still have my MAME desires, and am looking into step one of controlling it !!!

Also… In other news…

DONT!!!

Still playing silly games ! Got another wait now to see what decision he has come to this time. He changes his mind, more often than I change my pants… (And that’s not that often!!!)

But one things for sure…. My shit sure smells sweeter !

Ooooohhhh… I’m all excited !

Happy thoughts regarding MAME… Perhaps I can re-start what that I did started once?

Despite the wishful perfection of the circumstances that I hoped for, vanishing into a cloud of legal BS… It looks like things MAY be done by July…

Hmmmmm… Have I heard that before, is it deja vu, or is there simply an echo in here? Well, as usual…

WE SHALL SEE…

Straight away the man in America tries to change the rules!

FUCK HIM!

Have to call Monday…

Shorts (X2) should arrive today.

I’m gonna be just like Albert Einstein…

SOBER ! LOL

Hopefully everything is going to get in motion today to finally get the shit out of the fan…

ArseWithClass Gary Gary n Nat

Indian Chief ‘Two Eagles’ was asked by a white government official, ‘You have observed the White man for 90 years. You’ve seen his wars and his technological advances. You’ve seen his progress, and the damage he’s done.’

The Chief nodded in agreement.

The official continued, ‘Considering all these events, in your opinion, where did the White man go wrong?’

The Chief stared at the government official for over a minute and then calmly replied:

‘When White man find land, Indians running it….no taxes, no debt, plenty buffalo, plenty beaver, clean water.

Women did all the work, Medicine man free.

Indian man spend all day hunting and fishing, all night having sex.’

Then the chief leaned back and smiled. ‘Only White man dumb enough to think he could improve system like that.

May start posting again… Dunno… Busy being depressed at the moment… If a day goes by, when I dont catch myself saying to myself…

“I hate myself, and I want to die…”

Then I consider that a good day…

But this will do for now!

I think we’re being hard on Max. Yes, I know he studies the credits at the end of porn dvds to find out where they’re shooting, and any other information he may find useful; yes, he does ‘accidentally’ then stumble across those known addresses on his little walks around this fair land; yes he does type out lustful, inappropriate fantasies and try e-mailing them to his current favourite porn star – and then publishing them on a porn forum when she fails to reply, and, yes, he does seem to follow this up with smutty posts in his lunch hours while bashing the bishop (though he wants to stress that no Catholics were hurt during these episodes). But, apart from all that he balances his life out by verbally abusing minor celebrities and is apathetic of young mothers dying of cancer.

As you can see, he seems like an all-round normal bloke.

LOL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He said: I fully believe you!’

I should have been happy as a pig in shit !

But I wasn’t…

Why?

Because I have heard it all before…

Will this time be different?

Time will tell… We shall see 🙂

Haven’t updated for a while but thats the point so I will… The man in the states contacted me today… Tried to lie… Tried to deceive… But WHATS NEW?

Anyway… NEW LEGAL TOMMOROW? 3rd time lucky and all that…

After all… It WILL be Friday 13th !

If Only...

While I wait the ‘Explosion’…

I DID IT!!! 4 REAL !!!

Lets watch the desecration… !

Nearly a month gone by… Still no nearer the production of a SIMPLE LETTER !!! GHHHAAAA!!!!

Nice to hug a pssy…

Too tired and depressed to go and see legal…

Late at night on Sunday… Gonna see legal in the morning !
Till then… NIGHT NIGHT !

So, I call up… ON HOLIDAY ! WTF???

Gotta wait for Monday…

Still waiting for AvalanchE to be paid… Supposed to be tomorrow…

Agitated, and disturbed while I wait… Niggling feelings in my mind, stopping me from getting much done… Just want closure…

Fed up and dissapointed in general. Not happy at all, but then when WAS the last time I felt ‘Happy’?

Moments of pure clarity at 3 / 4 in the morning are the closest I can get right now… But its always darkest before the dawn…

And perhaps thats why, that its just before the dawn, in the darkness, that I can best feel at peace?

Apparently theres ‘So Much More Too It’…

Suprise surprise… Ask for a letter… A SIMPLE LETTER… and end up funding some major legal procedure at £500 an hour… Hmmmmm….

Should have known…

My lil’ DOGGY…

Had a very insightful dream about procrastination, and why shit that needs to be done… Doesnt get done… I cant explain it, over and above the title… But hopefully, by blogging it… I will remember the processes…

When I go to sleep, I just lay on my left, and ask myself…

“Here… ‘There Be Bears’…”

And… ALL IS GOOD…

I had to blog that phrase… Before I forgot it… I know why… You dont!

But this blog, isnt for you… Its for me !

Called legal… No Reply… Called Sky… 8 Weeks! Perhaps the man with the belt getting involved would help?

No word from LEGAL? WTF???

Avalanche seems sound… Screwed up a bit today… Held my hands up in surrender… He came in, did the biz, and all it god!

YaY Avalanche!

Quiet isnt it? Shhhhh….. 🙂

Long meeting with legal guy… Gonna take the legal route… Fuck it. WHY SHOULD I FEEL GUILTY?

Just gonna have to drop the bomb, stand back and take cover… What can he do? Not a lot… So, I’ll just go legal legal legal….

It makes sense…

Many things to update, but they have not let me near a computer for what seems like forever… So lets cover a few bases…

My WET Baby… Bless its lil cotton socks… Has already generated back half of its investment… IN 7 DAYS!!!

So no probs there…

America, land of the free? Well NO BOMB… Yet! (Metaphorical of course, just incase any reads my dribble and takes it literally)

I have appointment with Legal Counsel next week, to discuss the bomb, (Before Dropping It) and its potential affects… Always best to get a bit of the old legal advice…

Updates, as required, will follow SOON…

My baby will be set free to go and wet on the world…

God speed my baby… 🙂

To make things that are wet available to the world, on Feb 1st… Requires a total of 10 Min’s work…

Not surprising when its been in development for OVER a year…

So.. 10 Min’s and its done eh? YEP.. Ten Min’s… But it may as well be 10 Years…

GOTTA PULL ME FINGER OUT!!!

ARRRRGGGHHH!!!

Very pleased… No rebuttals… Another piece of the puzzle in place… The idea is to do as little as possible, and not cause myself stress…

Calm is good… Very good… Calm is the new black !

Its SO fucking true… Just one tiny indiscretion from one area affects everything! Whoever came up with this theory should pat himself on the back…

I mean, if ‘blog-project-man’ dont like the Avalanche, then it kicks over into MY dealings… WHY?

Its NOT fair… BUT IT DOES…

The Bomb will be detonated on FEB 3rd!!!

Metaphorical bomb of course… But a bomb none the less… Fall out will be wide reaching and many innocent bystanders will get injured…

BUT IT WONT BE MY FAULT !

I am awaiting a call ! Results to follow later, when I have spoken with my wife…

Will now spend the next 5 hours pacing my cell, while I formulate, discard, re-formulate, change, and eventually come up with a reply…

Procrastination is a GOOD THING!

Procrastination might feel good… But it feels better when its done!

Why is that when I know I need to do something, like write a letter, I think about it, and think about it… Then when I sit down to do it, it becomes a huge job, that I put off… But I know that it will only really take me a few mins!

I spend 30 times longer putting it off that it would take to do it! WHY?

Its RARE something makes me smile these days… Still dreading having to tell people things are different… But considering I have still not heard back from a key player, even when I have informed her of my decision… The fact I get no reply, SPEAKS VOLUMES… 🙁

So… Descions have been made. I’m staying in jail. I am not getting parole.. But, its for the best… It has to be in the longrun…

Of course, not the entire cast of players, within this play, I am suppose to call my life… Are aware of my descision… But they can wait. They will HAVE to wait LOL

For once, by admitting defeat, I have the upper hand…

I never intended to ramble on here, but today I may… Or may not? Who knows, or cares? Not me! OK, so that a lie… Of course I care… But at the same time, I could, or couldn’t, care less?

So… Major negativity on certain plans. Idiots after money… Letters from or for 33 ! (33!!!) WHY?

But will find out on Monday… Looks like the inevitable conclusion will be occurring after all… Lets hope its not TOO messy… Well, it will be messy… Messy as hell… But whats new ?

Blah blah blah… Bollocks n shit… Pissed off as usual… Ramble over.

Avalanche in Vegas… Nothing back from the USA… No man with belt… Should I be depressed?

I am depressed allready so who cares…

LOL

I guess things are changing direction faster than I ever thought they would… 🙁

But… As suspected, the others are at fault… Nothing new there then… Still the surprise of the day was an invite to stay! I am touched… Genuinely…

Plus the man with the belt is back and smiling down, so all is good.. I suppose…

Will wait till after W/E then chase like fuck… Plus Avavalanche too? Why do people always disappear?

Waiting to hear back from many people… Depressed and lonley. Cant even see the man with the belt at the moment… Sad but true…

I heard back from him! Shock horror!!! Cant believe it! He will update me in 2 (TWO) days… Yeah, well I wont hold my fucking breath!!!
On another issue, much more personal, certain things are much more normal today… The sensitivity issue is *starting* to receded… Much redness, but the sensitivity is *almost* pleasurable… Instead of me being unable to deal with it…

So… Perhaps there IS a god?

Very Cold. Icy cold… Spoke to the man whos supposed to be helping me get home… Well, tried to… 1st call? Not there… So try in hour… 2nd call? Not there… Call in 4 hours… Will report back IF (and I somehow doubt it…) I get through 3rd time lucky!

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Welcome to my world… Wont you come on in? But… You wont want to… & I dont blame you… Trapped. Held away from my life, my loved ones and my friends…

People have asked me, ‘If what you say is true’… But it is. All of it. So I needed to make a record of it. Lies can be remembered. They have to be, or you’ll be found out… But the truth? The truth gets forgotten… Hence the blog.

I will *TRY* to post at least once a day in 2009 and try to explain what is happening. Its hard though. They also say ‘The truth will set you free…’  Lets hope.

Will the truth set ME FREE? I doubt it… I cant get free… Thats why Im stuck here… But… At least Im still alive… Kinda…